One Year Today

June 17, 2007, was the one year anniversary of Jordan's near-drowning accident. This year has been an extremely emotional year for our family. We have had many unanswered questions to which we have endlessly searched for answers. Why? is the question that consumed us in the beginning. I guess every family that has a traumatic event like this is plagued by that question. It is so difficult to find an answer. We second-guessed ourselves first and ask "What could we have done differently?" Maybe if we had had stronger locks or higher gates and fences, this would not have happened. Maybe if we had had no pool, that would have prevented it. After you have exhausted the "What if's?" and realize that sometimes accidents just happen no matter how many precautions have been taken. (That is not to say that we should not take every single safety measure possible, just realize that we cannot live in a bubble and things just happen sometimes no matter what.) Next we turned to God with our pain and questions, and sometimes even our anger. We were shaken to the very core and it was difficult to find peace anywhere. We wanted to ask God "How could You have let this happen to my precious little one?"
Even when we humans fail, we assume that God will be there as our infinite safety net. We felt betrayed, as wrong as that may seem. After much prayer and soul-searching, we have come to the conclusion that we just don't live in a perfect world. We live in a fallen world where "bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people", as well as the other way around. God is still God even when things happen that we don't understand and yes ultimately God still is in control even when we don't see the big picture. Sometimes it boils down to a matter of simple trust.
The next questions and the next can all be answered in the same way..."Trust God". That is the only answer that we have found.